Submitted by: Anthony Malibu
Every relationship has ups and downs, but what does it mean when your boyfriend wants space? Is he looking to break up with you, or will some time apart actually help your relationship? Find out what you can do to prevent your break from becoming a breakup.
“I think I need some space…”
Finding out your boyfriend wants some time alone is never an easy thing. Maybe you sensed it… or maybe it came as a complete surprise to you. Either way, the above phrase can easily send you straight into panic mode, if you don’t know how to handle it correctly.
So what is your boyfriend really asking for? Is he breaking up with you, or is he coming back? How much space is enough, and when should you expect to get back together? These questions are all good ones, but they won’t be easily answered. Yet pressing for those answers, especially right now, is a really bad move.
He Wants To Spend Time Apart – Your First Moves
When your boyfriend announces his intention to ‘take time off’ from your relationship, the worst thing you can do is crowd or chase him. Hounding him for answers and deadlines is going to send him running in the opposite direction. Fighting against the break is even worse: he’s already made up his mind, and the more you chase him the faster he’ll run. In the end, the best course of action right now is no action at all.
Okay, chasing your boyfriend is out. So what
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CrwICToUqw[/youtube]
should
you do? What actions can you take to keep the relationship from falling apart completely?
Well for one, you need to clearly define the rules of your break. More importantly, don’t let your boyfriend be the one to dictate these rules either. If he wants space, it’s always best to give him more space than he needs. This means not calling him, texting him, or emailing your ex boyfriend during your little ‘break’. Leave him utterly and completely alone, and ignore any contact on his part. By removing yourself from his life so abruptly, something very important happens:
your boyfriend starts to miss you
.
Your Boyfriend Wants a Break? Give Him One
Don’t let your now ex boyfriend decide exactly what the break ‘means’. Do that, and he’ll show up a few evenings from now to spend a few hours with you… all because he’s lonely. The next morning he’ll disappear again, maybe for days at a time, and you’ll feel sad and used by him. And if you call him at this point? Suddenly you’re the bad guy. He’ll repremand you for not giving him his space.
Let me let you in on a little secret: your boyfriend doesn’t want space. What he wants here is a one-sided breakup. This means he gets to see and talk to you whenever he wants, but you don’t have the same luxury with him. When you call or text him, your boyfriend will act all weirded out as if you’re crowding or pressuring him. But for some reason, he’ll think it’s perfectly okay to call or talk to you.
That’s because your boyfriend
expects
you to wait around for him. Because he’s the one who initiated the break, he knows you don’t really want it. He’s comfortable in the knowledge that you’re not going anywhere, and that he can get you to come back whenever he wants. This will keep you apart for much longer, because he really has no incentive to reverse the breakup.
Making Your Boyfriend Want You Back
If you’re constantly accommodating your boyfriend and letting him make all the rules, your break will go on indefinitely. Think about it: he gets all the benefits of having a girlfriend, but without any of the drawbacks of commitment. He can go out, do what he wants, and even see other people – all under the guise of being on “a break” with you.
To get your ex to want you back, you need to make him realize he stands to lose you. You can do this by pulling away and doing your own thing. Instead of sitting around feeling miserable and sorry for yourself, go out and have some fun. Call some friends, hit some of your favorite hangouts, and make sure you’re having a great time. Feel confident and secure in the knowledge that doing these things will make your boyfriend jealous. He wants the freedom to have his own fun, but he’d much rather have the security of knowing you’re at home, alone, not having any fun at all.
The less you rely on your boyfriend for happiness and entertainment, the more he’ll worry about losing you. Your man will wonder where you are and who you’re out with, and most of all, whether or not you’re meeting up with other guys. When he sees the smile on your face, he’ll start wondering if you’re finally over him – or if you still care about your relationship at all. This is what will make him want you again.
Don’t approach your breakup without a plan, thinking you can just wing it. The success or failure of getting your boyfriend back depends upon what you do right now, not later.
About the Author: There are 8 individual Steps that will help in
Winning Your Boyfriend Back
, so find out what they are! Learn what you can do to
Stop Your Breakup
before it happens, when your boyfriend wants space.
Source:
isnare.com
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